That’s something my friends and I used to say whenever we were in a jam, or got out of a particularly rough ecology exam, or heard some bad news, or whatever. I thought it was a fitting topic for something I’ve been wanting to post about.

I’ve been trying to get right with God for a little while now. And by “try” I mean waiting for some big reveal or conversion experience to happen while I’m pondering Him. It hasn’t happened yet. And I shouldn’t be surprised. I had a particularly bad day today, there was a lot of self-doubt, starting a new job today that I don’t feel prepared whatsoever for, feeling like everyone was zeroing in on my flaws, feeling burdened, and other things… it has always been the hardest for me to understand or fathom that to God, I am precious in His sight. Because I hardly see myself as precious in my sight, let alone His. Somehow even though my heart is set on evil (Ecc. 8:11), even though I feel like an incredibly flawed creation, He sees me as precious in His sight. It doesn’t make sense, and because I don’t understand it, because I barely see myself in that light, I just can’t accept that even if the Bible makes it Truth.

But then, in comparison to a friend’s hurt or a homeless person’s loneliness, perspective comes pouring in from all sides and my issues simply pale. A dear friend of mine sent me a message about a particular struggle of hers and instantly compassion took the place of all the “I am precious?!” thoughts in my mind. I immediately wanted to comfort her and encourage her, to tell her anything that would have gotten her out of that struggle. It’s like instinct. But I’m thankful for that instinct because I hope to focus my compassion and helping hand onto people besides myself, like the children I’m going to be around this year.

Tomorrow I’ll bike to the Childrens’ Home and get more of a detailed briefing on my job. A little gardening, a little teaching, a little mentoring. Everyone was sweet and jolly this morning when I met them and it’s an understatement to say I’m excited to get the ball rolling. I’ve only been here a week but it feels like a month; I think that getting this volunteer position started will get things going pretty fast.

Here’s a group shot of us and some Sisters and sponsors:

Backyard groupshot

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